Midterm Paper
Nathan Bear
English 121
Prof. Harrison
October 19, 2009
Finding Oneself In Unlikely Ways
All throughout our lives from the minute we are born we are taught to evaluate things to get a better understanding of our surroundings. Whether its learning what makes a car run or finding out what distinguishes an apple from an orange. We find qualities that make everything unique and different from one another. Most people have heard the saying that no two snowflakes are alike, but when they are falling they all look identical. Only by taking a closer look can we realize how different they all are. This make me think about humanity as a whole. Everyone on this Earth, all six billion of us, are all essentially the same. We’re made up of all the same things but yet we’re all so different. No two people are the same. There’s something unique about each person that makes them them. Through these thoughts I raised the question in my head of what about me separates and distinguishes me from everyone else? What has happened in my life, what forces have molded me into the person I am today? There’s never one thing that makes you who you are, rather many things working together as a whole. The best example in my life that I can think of that shows me who “I” am is baseball. Baseball has brought out all my qualities, good and bad. I have learned so much about my “self” through this simple game. I’ve learned who I am through the struggles and triumphs. Through all the downfalls and lessons learned. I know who I am because of hard work and because of all the people who have been there beside me along my journey through baseball.
As far back as I can remember and from hearing stories from my family I’ve always been into sports, in particular baseball. I don’t know what about it drew me in, but it did. No one in my immediate family ever played or even liked sports, but I did. I loved them. I’ve always been fascinated with competition and being the best at something. Even though my family had no interest in sports they all still supported and encouraged me to do my best in what I pursued. As a young child I always threw things. Not just footballs and baseballs, everything! I had a little temper on me and when I got angry, things would tend to start flying around the room. For some reason I just threw everything, and I was good at it. My parents, being the parents they were, found more constructive ways for me to go about throwing things. I started getting baseballs and baseball gloves. This only furthered my interest in baseball. I soon learned that I was pretty good at this sport that I liked so much. My Dad was never the athletic type but he always did all he could to encourage my hobbies. We would go out in the backyard and play little game with baseballs and footballs. Watching baseball on television gave me the inspiration to become a baseball player. I watched games and dreamed of one day becoming one of those players.
As a child I lived in the Scranton/Wilkes Barre area so we were always close to the Scranton/Wilkes Barre Red Barons. They were the minor league affiliate of the Philadelphia Phillies, my favorite baseball team. My whole family would hop in the car and head down to the stadium to watch a game. My idol and favorite player, Gene Schall, played first base for the Red Barons and I always had my eye on him. I wanted to be like him. This is probably why all throughout baseball I always played first base. Finally one night after a game I got to meet my idol. He was signing autographs for fans along the first base line. I got him sign my first ever glove. Every time I played baseball after that with my glove I was reminded of my dreams and ambitions for my life.
At the age of five my family and I packed our bags and moved back to my parents hometown of Mechanicsburg, Pa. This is where my journey with baseball really took off. Within a month of moving my parents has signed me up to play on a local T-ball team. I was so excited because I would finally get a chance to compete against other kids. In these early stages I feel as though the Warrior archetype was awakening within me. When I was on that field, even in practice, I always wanted to do the best and be the best. Even at a young age failure was not an option, I hated losing. Although I had this drive for success in me, I was always uncomfortable in new situations and always relied on my parents as my safety net, my familiar. These feelings of shyness and uncertainty almost stopped my journey before it ever really began. After all our pre-season T-ball practices were complete we were ready to play our first game, or so I thought. Opening day was always the most exciting time for little league players. It was your first chance of the year for you and your team to go out and actually play a game.
My first opening day really taught me that it was okay to try new things and to come out of my shell. Little did I know but this would become a reoccurring battle that I would continue to fight to this day. As warm ups drew to a close and the game was about to start I, for some unknown reason to everyone else, was refusing to go out and play. I left my team and went to sit with my family on the sideline. My parents pleaded with me to go out and play. I refused. Anyone who knows me knows that I am very bullheaded and when I make up my mind about something, that’s it, there’s no telling me otherwise. I had convinced myself that one of the parents for the other team was going to come onto the field, if I was out there, and take me. So I wasn’t going out there. My Dad did all he could to get me to go out there, but nothing was working. Somehow in the midst of this crisis I had found a little toy truck in the grass and began playing with it. My Dad saw that I liked it so he decided to take it and make a deal with me. The only way I was getting this toy back was if I would go out and play the first inning, just the first inning. He also said that he would sit as close to the field as he was allowed so that I would be “safe”. I reluctantly agreed, but only because I wanted that truck. So the deal went as planned, I went out onto to field and my Dad sat beside me in the grass. The game started and with every pitch my Dad would slowly move back away from me little by little. He worked his way back to my mom and sisters. Becoming so consumed in the game immediately I had no idea how far away he was. As the first inning drew to a close my parents assumed that I would soon be back with them on the sideline. But to their surprise when the inning ended I ran to the dugout, not to them. I didn’t need them or that silly toy anymore. I became so wrapped up in the game that I forgot all about that. I ended up finishing the game without even a glance in their direction. At the end of the game I finally went back over to them and was so happy and excited about the game. I never looked back after the first inning of that first game. To this day I still have that little toy truck that I found that day. I keep it on my shelf anywhere I live. It reminds me that amazing things will happen to you but it’s up to you to take that first step, which is usually the most difficult but most rewarding one to take.
My love and passion for the game of baseball only deepened through the next decade that I continued to play. After T-ball I moved up into little league where I spent the next six seasons playing with the same kids. These kids were not just kids; they were some of my closest friends. Friends that I will never forget. My best friend at the time, Josh Progar, played with me and his father was our coach. Mr. Progar taught all of us so much about baseball but even more about life. He taught us how to do our best but how to do it in a dignified way. He taught us many things that we would carry with us throughout our lives, even though we had no idea what all we were really learning. Although we were almost always the most naturally talented team on the field during games, Mr. Progar made sure that we all knew that we still needed to maintain our hard work in order to stay on top. Playing on the same team as my best friend was such a great experience, that at the time I never realized how much it has helped me. We both loved the game of baseball and could never get enough of it. We went to the field as often as possible to improve our skills but really just because it was fun. We both pushed each other to be better because we were both so competitive that neither wanted to be shown up by the other. I know all this practice and hard “work” paid off because after every season for all six years we were both selected to the all-star team. Me being the pitcher and first-baseman and him as the catcher. Josh and I would also attend baseball clinics together and take up any opportunity we had to further improve our skills. Times like these show me that no matter what it is, that if I put my mind to it and work hard towards a goal that I can be the best at whatever I do. I soon found that Josh wasn’t always going to be around. He was a year older than me so he always moved up a year before me. We never played on the same team again but I learned so much from the times that we did.
Soon I found myself on my own, having to be a leader on most of my teams with little motivation from other players. I had to look inside and find self motivation. I taught myself how to push myself even when there was no one else there to do so. I began to grow up and take the lessons learned in baseball and apply them to life. I learned that I won’t always have someone there to help me when I need it, that I need to find strength from within and feed from that. I feel like I’ve really found myself best by being on my own. Over the next eight seasons I played baseball I experienced many hardships and setbacks but I always found myself looking back at all the things that I had learned from these first years of my journey. It’s usually the beginning when you learn most about yourself. The rest is about taking what you learned and applying it to you present.
Baseball has been a driving force in my life that has taught me a lot about who I am as an individual. I’ve learned so many valuable lessons that will stick with me throughout my entire life. These lessons helped me grow into the person I am today and will hopefully help me as I become a man. Baseball has shown me my strengths and weaknesses. It has shown me my flaws but has taught me that flaws are only temporary if you work hard to fix them. Baseball has shown me the love and support that I have from my family and friends. Through baseball I have gotten the chance to look inside myself and see the forces that drive me, what kind of person I am. Baseball has shown me how unique and different I am from everyone and everything else in the world.
Work Cited
Bear, Daniel L. “Baseball.” Telephone interview. 10 Oct. 2009.
Pearson, Carol S. Awakening the Heroes Within. New York: Harper Collins, 1991. Print.
